How you can name a vegetarian restaurant ‘Schwein’ (pork) is still beyond me. This inaptly named restaurant caused quite a bit of confusion among my vegetarian friends, as if I would ever recommend a place solely serving meat when I know there preferences. In any case, after eating breakfast once at Schwein, I wanted to try their dinner. I was in the mood for veggies and Schwein seemed like a great option.
Albeit the restaurant was rather empty at this early hour, we got the table right next to the washroom. Upon asking for another table, we were offered the one next to the only other occupied table. So then we asked for a table on the terrace and here we finally got a place we were all happy with.
happily seated on the terrace @Schwein
My friend ordered lasagna, which at Schwein was fried and filled with zucchini and provola, with a bit of Toum (a Lebanese aioli) on the side, and some spinach salad to go with it. It sounded good enough, maybe not the fried part, but everything else.
fried lasagna with spinach salad @Schwein
Personally this was not my understanding of a lasagna, but it was quite tasty. I found the fried part in combination with the aioli a bit much, but overall okay. Very soft and squishy, the aioli added some much needed flavor. Overall the lasagna was more french bread than noodles, but since it had already been fried the restaurant could do what it creatively wanted. Looking at it though I was happy that I had ordered something else.
My other friend, the more adventurous one, and I shared four starters. I love sharing and starters, and I was sure we had made great choices. At the same time as the lasagna crispy artichokes, oyster mushroom skewers, smoked eggplant, and corn Kaarage arrived. While perusing the menu I felt ready for all these delectable vegetables. Once it all stood in front of me I wasn’t so sure anymore.
Let’s start with the corn Kaarage. Kaarage means fried, so it didn’t come as a surprise that the corn was invisible, hidden behind some batter. I enjoyed the first bite, dipping the corn fritters generously in the accompanying Chimichurri sauce. It was hot, greasy, and crunchy. What was not to like?
corn Kaarage @Schwein
Unfortunately this got stale fast and overall the fritters were quite sweet, which couldn’t be masked by the sauce. The problem was that I had wanted something fresh. This was not it.
The crispy artichokes had landed in a frying pan as well. No wonder, they were supposed to be crispy. But they had lost all will to live after frying them beyond recognition. On top was ‘magic dust’ and next to it a cashew cream. The cream did nothing for the dead artichokes and any magic was lost on me. There was nothing fresh here either, rather the same taste of frying oil and no acid in sight to cut through all the grease.
crispy artichokes @Schwein
At least the smoked eggplant wasn’t fried, instead there was a distinct smoking aroma as announced. Unfortunately it must have come from a bottle, because I have received such an aroma enhancer once and didn’t use it due to its intense fake taste. My problem with the eggplant at first was the look though. The little maggots on top were just puffed wild rice, but it did look unappealing to say the least. The overall flavor was boring, with the smoke aroma eclipsing anything else. A complete fail in my eyes!
smoked eggplant @Schwein
Last but not least we shared oyster mushrooms skewers, which lay on top of a lentil salad and had some whipped marjoram on the side. The whipped marjoram turned out to be a puzzle I couldn’t figure out. This white dollop had a weird consistency but tasted totally bland. I couldn’t tell what was in it nor how it could be whipped to such a level. What I know for sure, this hadn’t seen any cream as it was listed as vegan.
oyster mushrooms skewers @Schwein
In any case the white cream added nothing to an overall unforgettable dish. The skewers were in relation to everything else the best dish, but only the skewers. The lentil salad lacked all seasoning and again acidity. This was one boring dish.
This visit to Schwein has also been my last one and I don’t think I’ll ever be back to give it another chance. It had four chances to deliver something tasty and failed on all levels. If you are in the mood for something fresh and healthy than Schwein is definitely the wrong restaurant. There was nothing remotely healthy on my plate and nor fresh. Yours, Pollybert
Schwein
1070 Wien, Siebensterngasse 31/III
Tel: +670 1845777
Email: office@schwein.wien
Mon-Sun: 09:00-24:00
https://www.schwein.wien/
